10 Reasons to Love, or Not Love, Valentine’s Day

“Why is it no one sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it’s always just my luck to get one perfect rose.”―Dorothy Parker

 

IF YOU ARE SINGLE
Lucky you.

1.

You do not have to worry or fret about finding that perfect Valentine’s Day gift!

2.

You may suffer a twinge of jealousy when your friends with boyfriends or married friends are lavished with gifts or have romantic date nights. Don’t. There was likely much worrying and sometimes last minute frantic planning to pull off what appeared to be easy.

3.

A personal assistant sometimes buys the boss’s wife or girlfriend a gift and makes dinner reservations. Is this really what you want? a Valentine’s Day that is delegated to an employee?Singletons, on February 14, put on your jammies, order a pizza and watch 27 Dresses on Netflix. You will be with your favorite, easy-to-get-along-with date…yourself.

THE BOYFRIEND
Complicated.

4.

This is tricky. You will have to calculate your status Are you newly together or have you been dating for years? Herein lies a separate problem altogether. An important question because it will determine the value of your gift and the depth of your celebration.

5.

The most challenging Valentine is the newly dating. Do not think it is just you. He is trying to decide how to meet your expectations as well. Here are a few suggested guidelines for the newly dating:

6.

Three Months or Less
A card. At the very most, a small gift of no obvious value, for example, a small teddy bear, or a sleeve of golf balls if he’s a golfer. The worst scenario is if you overdo it with an expensive gift and he does not reciprocate. One of you might be quite uncomfortable. Play it safe.

7.

Six Months to One Year
At this stage, you can expect as well as give, a gift of more substance. If you are closer to the one year mark, hopefully, you are comfortable discussing Valentine’s Day and can make mutually agreeable plans together. This is the honeymoon phase of dating where couple’s massages, a weekend getaway, even a dinner at a special restaurant are exciting and romantic. If your plans are NOT romantic at this point, perhaps you may want to spend some time reflecting on your goals for this relationship. If marriage is your end run―stop, in the name of love.

THE SMUG MARRIEDS:
A delightful reference from Bridget Jones’s Diary.

8.

From the outside looking in, perhaps you may think, “Oh, Valentine’s Day must be so simple for them.”A built-in date, easy to buy a gift, and sending flowers guarantees the perfect day.

Au contraire.

In the beginning, a bar is set higher and higher each year, when expectations can run as high as emotions. Proof of love exists in material signs of the perfect card, roses sent to work (who would see them at home?), and the just so perfect gift. Oh, please let it be jewelry. Giant bummer that the price of red roses is doubled on Valentine’s Day. Could my lover just want tulips? Men, here is my absolute favorite gift, write her a love letter. On real paper. With a real pen. Say all the words. Express all of your feelings. Deep sigh. Quote Emily Dickinson, and you will own her heart.

9.

I can recall a Valentine’s Day when I was actually upset with my husband for sending me red roses (at home, he didn’t get many things) for his lack of originality after 16 years of marriage. Really? Is that the best you’ve got? There is a large, flashing warning sign on the couples who have been together a relatively long time. Two scenarios. First, like me, I was still looking for validation in love and wanted to see proof. Second, when the more mature couples (unlike me) who know each other so well, their love is true and proven to the degree even a card is superfluous.

Somehow I never made it to that stage. Thus explaining my singleton status.

THE SWEETEST GIFT OF ALL ON VALENTINE’S DAY

10.

My last advice for you is not to forget the people in your life whose Valentine’s Day would become a special, unforgettable day with a Valentine from you. These people will likely not receive any Valentine’s cards, and your thoughtfulness becomes a special act of kindness.

Think of:
Your mother, father, parents
Single grown children
Small children
Unmarried or single brothers and sisters
Senior neighbors
Unmarried or single friends
Bring a batch of children’s boxed Valentine’s signed, “Your friend,” to a senior home, or the children’s ward of your local hospital.

“Once, when I was young and true,
Someone left me sad-
Broke my brittle heart in two;
And that is very bad.

Love is for unlucky folk,
Love is but a curse.
Once there was a heart I broke;
And that, I think, is worse.”
―Dorothy Parker

Happy Valentine’s Day.

 

 

Photo Credit: Jordi Cucurull Flickr via Compfight cc