I’ve been hesitant to write this because I didn’t want to piss off my baby girl, but here we go. In an ideal world, this is what I would want. In reality, I have no more control over this than which way the wind is blowing.
1. Don’t look at her like a snack.
My daughter is aesthetically appealing. I get that. Don’t look at her like a snack. It pisses me off. See beyond what she looks like.
2. Have manners and common courtesy.
Show me something here. Make an effort. Basic rules: Say something when you walk into a room. Shake my hand. Look me in the eye. If someone else walks into the room, stand up and introduce yourself. Make an effort at conversation. Don’t be a suck-up, but let me know you were not raised by wolves.
3. Be thoughtful.
She will always be my baby. She’s impressionable. I want to see a healthy dynamic from the get-go. Be thoughtful.
4. Control freaks need not apply.
She is an adult. She makes her own decisions. She is not your possession. She is first your friend and then your lover. Don’t forget that. Ever. Where you come together is after managing your own lives.
5. Have something going for yourself.
You probably don’t have your whole life mapped out, but few interesting people do. Have a job or a business, or be in school. Be confident. Know something about something.
6. Hold on to your balls.
She is tough so don’t let her p-whip you. She’ll just get bored and pitch you to the curb. Have a set and keep ‘em.
7. Don’t be cheap.
But don’t be showering her with expensive gifts either. Sometimes if she sees something shiny she gets distracted.
8. Don’t even think about being emotionally or physically abusive.
I will hunt you down like a dog.
9. Realize that she is independent and that will not change.
Be prepared to accept that and appreciate it. Relationship dynamics and human nature tend to dictate that she will hope to change you into her ideal and you will hope she’ll never change and neither is likely to happen. Expect it and deal.
Dads out there—can you relate?
Bert
Photo Credit: Vincent_AF via Compfight cc
One thing I would add is that he needs to respect me and my wife as well as my daughter. Our 16 year old has recently decided she would rather live with her boyfriend and his family instead of us. I’d feel a lot less like strangling him if he had tried to talk to me and shown me some respect
As a father of a seventeen-year-old daddy’s girl, I think your little article here just about says it all, right on the money Bert. I was 20yrs old when I found out I was having a daughter I had just spent the last six years of my life partying and following bands like The Gratefull Dead and Phish around the country. I’d screwed up every relationship I ever had with females for one reason or another, told many bosses to –well you get it and my best examples of what a true man was-were a few father figures I met here and there (usually when I was homeless, and my girls that were friends took me home as a stray) when they took me in because they saw something not many others did. They saw a man that worked hard even though he may go through ten jobs a year figuring it out. A man that would step in front of a bullet to protect those he loved. And most of all an honest, trustworthy man that although he may screw up often, he never bit the hand that helped him up. I never thought I’d be saying this, but if you want to date my seventeen yr.old daughter boy, you better be a lot like me only better and smarter than I was. Cause if you are not I’m a Damn hard man that likes to do a lot of backwoods hunting if you get my meaning boy, and I didn’t say Roy neither boy got that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for the chuckle Bert I needed it as I just got home from bringing my daughter to UVM weekend.
Chris Jones
Thanks Susan!! Doesn’t matter how old they are. They’re still your baby.
Bert, Thanks for sharing. The world needs our men to stand up for our women (daughters, mothers, sisters, friends, girlfriends, wives).