Conform

I’m talking but no one is listening.
Words pour out of my mouth
Real words, actual words, fully formed assertive words
But no one is listening.

They hear different words.
Different fully formed words
Words they like, words they agree with
Words that make their world a little easier and more comfortable.

But the words they hear are not my words.
These words constrict me
Crush my chest and pour dust down my throat
They squeeze me into a corner
They tie me down
They show me a tunnelled future and a grave stone that looks like all the others
A grave stone that says administrator.

There is a pane of glass between us
My breath thick and fast against it.
I talk and talk and talk until my lips turn blue and my heart gives out
But isn’t that that the point?
People only hear what they can cope with
They won’t hear what you’re saying if what you’re saying disrupts their pretend.

They want you to give up
They want you just like them
Because if you aren’t with them, you’re against them
And we can’t have differences
We can’t have uniqueness
We can’t have lone wolves
So get back behind that screen and keep your mouth closed and your heart quiet.

But I have never been one to do want I am told.
I don’t abide by stupid.
I don’t abide by being part of the club.
I abide by my gut, my heart and my mind
And they are all singing in harmony that I need to unclip my gag and scream no matter if no one listens.
Because if I don’t speak for myself
No one else is going to
Are they?

 

Photo Credit: forkcandles Flickr via Compfight cc

Written by 

Emily Frances Algar is a journalist and writer. She has experience in the music industry working as the A&R on the Grammy Nominated Album (Best Folk Album) Front Porch by artist Joy Williams. Emily has been published in a number of print and digital publications including Atwood Magazine, American Songwriter, and Record Collector magazine. She specializes in both long and short-form features as well as interviews and reviews. She has written pieces ranging from the commercialization of feminism and feminism in popular culture, critiques surrounding freedom of speech and the #MeToo movement as well as recently interviewing refugees from Iran. Emily has a Masters in International Security from Oxford Brookes University. Her thesis looked at the extent to which the media shaped public opinion during the Vietnam and Iraq (2003) wars.

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