If You Don’t Have One, Go Out and Get One!

Beatrice Bailey

Many of us have marinated in our sorrow because of the loss of a loved one, a relationship with someone or the loss of never even knowing a special loved one. My daughter taught me something years ago that still rings true today.

Wendy has always idolized my mother, whom she never met. She would constantly pepper me with questions about her. My mother had a cousin, Louise, who lived nearby in Los Angeles, and when Wendy was in college, we would visit her from time to time. As was traditional in my mother’s age group, you would refer to a best friend as “Cousin” or “Aunt.” Wendy called me up one day and said that she needed a grandmother and was planning to ask Aunt Louise to be her “grandmother.” Say what? She didn’t have a grandmother but had the need for one, so she reached out to Aunt Louise. Once they talked about it, Aunt Louise told Wendy from that day on she was only to call her “Grandmother.”

As I type, I am looking out of my window, and I’m watching my two grandsons busily building a birdhouse with my neighbor, Andy. Andy does not have grandchildren, and both of my grandsons have lost their grandfathers. My seven-year-old grandson, Maxi, wanted a grandfather, so he went out and adopted Andy. Seeing them interact brings tears to my eyes. Maxi had a need and set about fulfilling it, just like my daughter Wendy.

I realized I have “sons,” “daughters,” “parents,” and “sisters” who have deeply enriched my life, and there is no common DNA!

So, I think my daughter and grandson had brilliant ideas if you want a son, a daughter, a brother, a sister, a grandmother or any other relationship for which you have a need … go out and get yourself one!

Photo Credit: Picturepest via Compfight cc

Written by 

Beatrice Bailey was born and raised in Davenport, Iowa to a Baptist minister father and a mother who was a gospel recording artist. She has three sisters and one brother. She attended the University of Iowa and graduated with a BA in Psychology from California State University, Sacramento. Retired since 2004 from management positions with both the Xerox Corporation and the State of California, Bea now conducts customized seminars on “Budgeting for the Not So Rich and Famous”, “Putting the Puzzle Pieces Together…The Ultimate Balancing Act,” as well as interview techniques entitled, “Selling the Sizzle and Not the Steak.” In addition, she is an active member of St. Paul Baptist Church in Sacramento, CA, where she is an Adult Sunday School teacher. Bea has been a Head Feature Writer for Senior Magazine of Northern California. She also writes a monthly newspaper column entitled, “Uniquely Bea” Currently, she has authored a best-selling book, entitled, "Farewell, My Friend” and is conducting presentations and book signings throughout the United States and Mexico. "Radio Luz,” a Spanish Speaking Christian Radio Station, has interviewed her multiple times. Bea also was selected to be included in a book by The Author’s Show, as one of the "50 Outstanding Writers You Should Be Reading”. Bea has produced and hosted a new innovative television show, “A-Z with Bea”, which aired in November 2009 on RCCTV, Sacramento, CA. Bea is active at St. Paul Baptist Church and is an Adult Sunday school Teacher, and a Small Accountability Group Leader. She is a member of Kaiser’s Bio-Ethics Committee and on the Board of Advisors for the East Lawn Corporation. Recently, she has been asked to participate as a speaker with the Black Health Today national organization. To relax, Bea likes to work out at the gym, walk, knit, paint, sew, cook, garden, and read. Traveling within the United States, Mexico, Asia, the Caribbean, South America and Europe is one of Bea’s true passions. She has two adult children, one “bonus son”, five wonderful grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. She resides in Northern California.

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4 thoughts on “If You Don’t Have One, Go Out and Get One!”

  2. Beautiful post, and a great idea too. I never had a grandma and wasn’t smart enough to adopt one when I was young. Then, when I married my husband, his grandma adopted me. She had ten other grandchildren and a whole bunch of great-grandchildren, but that didn’t stop her from taking me under her wing right away. I was lucky to have her for about thirteen years. She made a huge and wonderful impact on my life.

  3. Beatrice, this is beautiful! I call those I choose to be special in my life the “family of my heart”. Loved reading this! No one needs to be alone.

  4. As always, spot on! I’ve enjoyed every one in your series. Thank you so much for writing and sharing them. xD.

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