The Four Deaths of James Edward

I. James Edward the Third entered the world like a limp bruise—purple against the sterile room—in a silence that hurt my ears from straining, stretching and stretching, taking with it his brain cells and future. Some of you will know what I mean. I’m sorry for that. The only thing Read more

I Have Three Children

The question I dread the most as a grieving mother is; “How many children do you have?” It’s not that I don’t know how to answer, it is all the questions that follow. I’m immediately forced to decide whether or not I want to reveal more intimate information than the Read more

Coming Home to Joy

When I tell my friends in Puerto Vallarta that I am returning to Minneapolis, they think I am crazy. “The weather changes here on October 15th; I can guarantee it,” Ted, owner of the cigar shop, tells me. “It’s like a curtain comes down on the humidity.” “It’s paradise here Read more

Cradles Long Forgotten

Heavy minutes rhyming on her white wall, crying, flailing, slowly falling down like trickles of blood pooling around everybody’s eyes, around everybody’s smiles, but everybody smiles. Her fingers walk across the marble floor, nails scraping and tongues bending like half-empty dresses hung inside a closet. Boots, now worn, lie sullenly Read more

She Took My Heart With Her That Day

Kids are hard–they drive you crazy and break your heart–whereas grandchildren make you feel great about life, and yourself, and your ability to love someone unconditionally, finally, after all these years. ―Anne Lamott, Some Assembly Required July 23, 2012 The day my life changed forever. In every way. I became Read more

January Fourteen: Celebrating Her Son’s Life After Death

Looking behind me, I twisted my torso and pressed down on the tin canister that sat in the passenger seat as I backed up the car. A horrid pop song played on the radio. I don’t normally think the word “horrid”, but I was in mom mode, so my mind Read more