For the Jukebox that Won’t Stop Playing the National Anthem

the sultry ode composed of smashed teeth, blood stained glass, hammer-fist dents, ready to turn public spaces into choral asylums, turn town squares into scorched earth & blast the blistering notes of nationalism, numbing the ear drums in the worst of ways, we howl like drunk men in wolves clothing, Read more

Putting the Fun in My Funeral

However awkward, my wife Allison holds both the lunacy and the skillset to break laws of etiquette – especially when it comes to putting the fun in funeral. Of course, she initially offers up genuine, heartfelt sympathy at the appropriate time and displays rarely-seen seriousness during solemn moments. However, when Read more

I Quit, Bitches!

It is fucking impossible to work with Bethany. Instead of being a team player, she’s an ego-driven, self-serving, arrogant, superficial little floozy. She regularly empowers herself to bulldoze over me by hijacking my responsibilities and compromising my professional reputation. In fact, she purposely intimidates everyone on the team by bullying Read more