Crushed

It was a desperate
perfect storm
kind of love affair.
Sudden but not without warning.
Fragile and doomed from the beginning.
Yet with so much hope.
Feeding off each other’s heightened force.
Taking one’s breath away, unable to get it back.
Blind to obvious obstacles.
To the REAL dangers in this potential combination.

Wanting to be so much in love and loved.
You feel so familiar.
We spoke through song lyrics, poems,
and 3:00 a.m. texts.
You awake? I miss you. I’m thinking of you.
You’re on my mind a lot today.
Promises made for the future.
So in sync.

You said fuck anyone who doesn’t understand!
You said we deserve this!
I believed you.
Too good to be true…
and it was.

It all came to a sudden halt,
with little reason why.
I just can’t do this.
That’s all.
I don’t understand, but I step back.
So many questions unaddressed.
So this is what it feels like to have a broken heart.

It’s the kind of heart ache that drives artists to create.
Anything to stop focusing on the loss.
Anger that is really sadness in disguise.
I understand.
I don’t like you.
I’m trying to forgive you.
But it still hurts.

 

 

Photo Credit: toptenalternatives Flickr via Compfight cc

Written by 

I am a new writer but a very old soul. I am a 54 year old, white, ex-catholic, divorced, mother of two, and a woman who loves women. A year ago I decided to end my 11+ year marriage to my wife. This last year has been one of reflection, soul searching, honest internal inquiry, and a lot of writing. The majority of my other writings are short stories filled with universal questions and self reflection, with a nod to the psychodynamic world of psychology. I am a licensed Psychotherapist in Los Angeles and see most things through one or two lenses, namely the soul or true nature of a person and how our relationships to our pasts impact our capacities to function each and everyday.

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