i searched for in Mexico
hoping to see Your face –
so many people resembled You
i felt your spirit in this foreign place.
i hunted for Your eyes
drew a picture of Your smile –
explained away Your hands
sat on the roadside for a while.
i imagined we had been there
when we were young and knew no better –
i lied about us swimming there,
in waters during stormy weather.
voices sound like yours
only with an accent i didn’t know –
they sounded like your grandfather
i hear it – but it was so long ago.
i searched for You in Mexico
except i was by myself –
and i carried just a backpack
and i spoke to no one else.
i found a place with postcards
and i filled it up with words –
i licked it. stamped it. and sent it.
hoping You would get it.
how absurd.
the world there is crowded and
populated and alone –
but if by chance i’d found You there
i would never have gone home.
so maybe sometime in mexico
You can meet me and we can talk –
like a dream or like a movie
we can laugh again and walk.
i pictured You in mexico
waiting for me to arrive –
i’m waiting here in mexico
i hope that i survive.
