It wouldn’t be so bad if you held my hand.
It wouldn’t be so wrong if you held me tight.
It wouldn’t be crazy if you kissed me with passion.
It wouldn’t be outrageous if you cradled my heart as if it might break.
But you won’t and you can’t.
It wouldn’t be possible for me to let you do those things.
I am incapable of being satisfied,
with lingering kisses, gentle caresses or silky words.
I have come undone.
My heart is stone, my eyes always wander.
My hands hold,
never will they be held.
A storm grows inside of me.
My thunder is only temporary,
my passion an electric current.
Isolation insulates me, from the likes of you and the others,
keeping destruction at bay.
My Kisses will always be fleeting, a quick flutter of wings, an imagined sensation.
I am sorry.
I am sorry that you held on to faith,
I am not a believer, I have no allegiance
other than the one forged by pain,
with the Goddess of Self-Preservation.
I can not be
yours
or
theirs
or
mine.
Not now, not ever.
It would have been nice if given the chance it could be so.
It would have been charming to find myself suddenly complete.
It would have been a miracle to have quenched my thirst, a miracle to have satiated yours.
Unfortunately, I do not believe in miracles,
just flickering fantasy.
Photo: ©Julie Anderson All Rights Reserved
This is very powerfully written. You are indeed a very powerful writer and woman . Amazing read.
Shareen
S-
Did you just call me a Drama Queen?
LOL…. its true. But that is how it is for me, attracted to drama like a moth to a flame. I am working on that blip in my personality.
Love you more…
xxx
J
Thank you for your reassurance darling! Poets are definitely allowed to be Drama Queens (it takes one to know one), and you, indubitably, are a poet!!
Love you!
S xoxo
Susan,
I don’t want you to cry or worry. The fact that you did and do – means I did my job. Poetry should take a reader on a journey that plays their emotions like guitar strings.
I always have to kick the little bitch in my mind. She always says;”Who do you think you are? You are not a poet!”
Thank you for helping me knock her out of my mental playground.
xxxx
J
J, I just can’t comment on this. I don’t want to believe you are cynical of miracles. Love is the greatest miracle of all, and look at how many of US, your FC Family, adore you. This is stark and pierced my soul because I love you and want joy and peace to be yours. It’s so powerful it has made me want to cry.
xoxo
Kitt-
Oh Kitt you know me well. Miracles do exist … but they are not how we expect them.
Thank you for your beautiful comment. I appreciate you.
x
J
Powerfully written. We isolate to protect ourselves from pain. You have my love from a distance, a less threatening love than that which satiates. Keep aflame that flickering fantasy. Who knows, maybe miracles do exist?
P-
Seriously? ***blushing***
Thank you x
J
Oh my God, Julie. This is awesome! ❤️
Stephanie…
I have no “deep down” … lol. #shhhh
x
“Unfortunately, I do not believe in miracles,
just flickering fantasy.”
Deep inside you still believe mama, never lose hope. This is beautiful <3
Thank you K. As always you turn my frown upside down.
x
**My Kisses will always be fleeting, a quick flutter of wings, an imagined sensation.**
Julie, an appreciation for your words from MN. xx