We’ve all been there. Looking for Mr. Right and only finding Mr. Wrong. Here are a few tips that will help you find him in our big, crazy world … and hopefully, help you keep him.
1. First and foremost, end bad relationships. There is no need to stay in a relationship that is crumbling around you. Don’t grasp on … release it, and let it go. It will clear the way for the one you are looking for. Your partner is out there … waiting. Why are you holding on to a lost cause?
2. Stop Looking. You’ll never find him if you’re looking. Stop that right now. Looking just causes frustration, and who likes to be frustrated?
3. Do things you love. Take classes, enroll in seminars, join friends in doing things that you enjoy. You want a man that is going to be interested in similar things … so start doing them. Don’t wait for a partner, get out there and mingle.
4. Don’t look at a club or a bar. What do you get at a bar? A man who is on the prowl. You want a man that isn’t afraid of commitment, one you can talk to. Ever try to talk to someone at a club? … It’s impossible. Stay out of bars or clubs, if you are looking for that special one.
5. Eat the damn bread pudding. What does that mean? Well, when you’re looking for your special someone, you want to know that they are interested in you. That the person you choose will stand by your side through thick and thin (literally). So eat the damn bread pudding. Hell … put on 20 pounds … and then go searching. The man that you find will love you for what’s inside, not just your gorgeous outside. (Although your outside will still be gorgeous, no matter what your size, and the right man will see that.)
6. Don’t settle. No matter what, no matter how … never settle. This is your life. If he isn’t treating you the way you want, move on. This life is not a dress rehearsal. If you are confused, re-read step one for guidance.
7. When you have him, don’t try to change him. How many times have you heard a friend say he’s great, but I don’t like this, this and this. Honey, he’s a man, and the way he comes, is the way he is. You can help him find the laundry basket, or put the lid on the toothpaste but when it comes to big things, he’s not going to change. So you need to accept him the way he is or move on. It really is that simple.
8. He’s not a mind reader. Men are wonderful, amazing creatures, but they can’t read your mind. If you want him to know something, tell him, just like you would a friend. Don’t make him guess and try to figure out why you’re upset. Just tell him what you need, how you’re feeling and what’s wrong. It’ll make your relationship much stronger, and he’ll be happier knowing where you and he stand.
9. Don’t be upset when he tries to fix EVERYTHING. It is a man’s ingrained need to try to fix your problem(s). It’s hard for him to just listen and hold back. So don’t be upset when he tries to help out. You can always tell him that you just need him to listen, but don’t be surprised when he still feels the need to try and fix whatever it is. A real man needs to help, protect and take care of his woman. That’s a good thing, even if sometimes it feels a little caveman-ish.
10. Put him first. I know … that sounds like something out of the 50’s. But, if you want a happy relationship, you should be thinking about his needs before yours. Don’t worry, if you have the right man, he will doing the same for you. I’m not talking about going without food so he can eat. I’m talking about making him feel important to you, because he is. Don’t be afraid to love, you deserve it.
At this point, you may be asking yourself, who is this woman telling me how to find a man? I am just a woman that’s been married to my husband and best friend for eighteen years. I have helped many friends find their significant others, and I love watching true love bloom. So trust me when I say … you are amazing … you deserve love, and he is out there waiting for you.
What are you waiting for??
NUMBER 1!!!!!! Wow… taken too long to follow this rule many times. Thanks for reminder. I’m not in crumbling relationship now, but remember the pain of living (and struggling) through them.
I love number 10. I think sometimes as women, especially if we ID as a feminist, we feel putting out spouses first is a step back…and that’s not the case. Feminism deals with the social structure, not our relationships. Just as in a good friendship you will sometimes put your friend first, there will be times in your relationship where you will have to put your spouse first. As you said, if it’s a good relationship then they will be willing to do the same for you. Love this…keep on writing!
This is great! Number 2 has always been my mantra to friends! Great advice!